Catastrophic
by Killer Eyes
Summary: Ed gets assigned gaurd duty right in the middle of a war with The Village Hidden in the Leaves, Konaha. There he meets a strange kid named Naruto Uzumaki. Will the two become fast friends or end up enemys.
1. The scene is set

**My attempt at a crossover between FMA and Naruto! When I first started writing, it was supposed to be a one-shot but it just got too long and I got a bit stumped. If people are interested, I should be able to put the next chap out pretty fast (considering I've already written it...)**

**Anyway, I haven't been on in about a year but I've still been writing. Hope I've gotten better, please enjoy my story.**

**Catastrophic **

**Chapter One: The Scene is Set**

A boy stomped through central command ranting on to the large suit of armor that followed his every step. He was exceptionally short, not to mention loud, and all of the military grunts around tried hard to avoid his rage.

He was dressed in all black except for his white gloves and his long red jacket with a black symbol on the back.

"Please calm down, big brother!" called out the armor in a young boy's voice, "We'll get this all sorted out!"

He slammed open a large door to find a military clad man sitting amongst piles of paperwork. "Oh, Edward…" said the man calmly, "I see you've heard the news."

"Colonel, what's this about?!" asked the armor boy, holding up an assignment letter while his older brother vehemently cursed at his superior, "Will Ed really have to go to war!?"

Those last words silenced the young alchemist, but his glare was fierce as ever.

"This is not what I signed up for," he said coldly.

"Actually, it is, Edward," answered the colonel, becoming more serious, "Pledging loyalty doesn't just mean you have to show up for an assignment once per year, and then get to go off and do whatever you want. If we decide to send you to the front line, that's where you have to go…"

The two boys tensed, unsure of what they should do.

"Fullmetal…" he said with a sigh, "Did you even read that paper thoroughly, or just skim the fist paragraph and go storming off?"

"Um… well…"

He had hit the nail on the head with that comment.

"That's not the point!"

"Let's see here…" said the colonel, taking the paper from Al and beginning to read, "By order of central city's Fuhrer president king Bradley and the war strategies_…_ _blagh… blagh_ _…_ Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist is ordered to immediately report to his direct superior Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, for further orders involving his future involvement in the current war _…blagh… blagh… blagh…_refusal to comply with these or Colonel Mustang's demands will result in either a court martial and suspension of your state license or an immediate arrest depending on the level of mutiny…"

The two brothers looked at one another, not having learned anything new from Mustang's little lecture of doom.

The colonel sighed saying "This doesn't say you're going to war, it says to come see me to find out what they want you to do, and in fact you're not going into battle any time soon…"

"Then what are my orders?" Ed said, a chill running down his spine from the last word ever passing his lips.

"You're on guard duty…" Roy answered in an annoyed tone, handing them a paper regarding the specifics of the new assignment, "And because of it I have to do loads more paperwork. You know you're…"

The two had already left the room before the end of his sentence, not wanting to hear his paperwork rant again. A woman stepped inside saying, "I see that went well."

After about an hour of neither of them knowing where they where going and Ed refusing to ask directions, they finally arrived.

"Here we are, brother," said Alphonse as he and Edward approached the back entrance to some unknown building.

Ed opened the door to find creepy, lightless stairway leading down to pure darkness.

"Yeah…" he said sarcastically, "This sure looks legitimate."

The two brothers made there way down the staircase, the light from the open door fading with every step.

"Maybe we should light a fire…" suggested Al.

"Good idea," said Ed, grabbing an unlit torch off the wall and with a clap of alchemy setting it on fire.

"This place gives me a bad feeling."

They continued downward until a steel-reinforced door stood before them.

Edward checked the paper's instructions. "It says…" he recited it aloud, "…The door is down at the very bottom of the staircase, knock twice for entry'…"

Al knocked, but the door didn't sound quite right, not to mention nothing happened…

Ed got down on his knees, examining the ground. "…very bottom, hn…"

Slight alchemic marks could be seen on the stone floor. The Elrics turned to one another and nodded. Ed clapped his hands together and, in a flash of blue lightning, the floor opened into a short way down to a small room with one door.

"Nice one, brother," said Al, giving Ed a thumbs up, just before the two of them jumped down.

_Maybe I shouldn't have brought you_! thought Ed, squished in the tiny space with his bulky armor of a brother. He knocked twice on the new door and it immediately opened up.

"Thank goodness!" called out a stressed-out stranger from behind the door.

His eyes were baggy as if he hadn't been sleeping, and he had cuts and scrapes all over.

"Are you -" the man switched places with Edward and Alphonse in an unbelievable flash of speed "-okay…?"

"Good luck," said the oddball, closing the door. "See you in two months."

"WHAT!" the Elrics called out to no one.

They turned around to find a long dark hallway. There was a lit lantern at the other end but the one on their side was out.

To the left were jail cells filled with enemy prisoners.

A chair with some kind of clipboard was on the right, along with some used matches, an empty food tray, and one stick of chalk that appeared to have been used to number days by making lines on the wall.

"Sixty," said Al pointing to the wall markings, "He wasn't joking when he said two months."

Fullmetal lifted up the torch and lit the lantern to provide a little better light. "We're supposed to check each cell periodically and prevent any escape attempts."

Said Ed looking at the paper in the dim light.

Al picked up the clipboard. It had names written down the line with a date under each. To the right of the names were numbers in a row. Only the first few rows were filled and there was a date at the top of each column.

Ed looked over at the clipboard too, reading its title aloud. "Escape Charter."

There was only one mark under the current day's column:

Ukki Kishinomoto.

Whoever this person was, the chart showed that they had made 99 escape attempts in the three months he had been held captive there.

At the top it said:

_Only register noticeable escape attempts._

"I've got a feeling this will end up being harder then it looks…" said Ed, looking down at how many times these people had tried to get away.

"Hey shorty," called out the man in the first cell.

It was this Ukki person. He had shoulder length limp brown hair that looked like it had never been washed _or_ brushed and shining green eyes that seemed to silently mock anyone in their gaze.

"If the war doesn't get called off soon, I swear Amestris will be destroyed by the Leaf."

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY I'M A SHORTY WHO NEEDS CRAZY TALL ELEVATOR SHOES TO MEET A MIDGET EYE TO EYE!?" Ed yelled at the stranger, completely ignoring the threat made to his country.

"Th-that's not what I said at all…" Ukki answered confused.

All the other prisoners came to the front of there cells to see what was happening.

"That the new guard?"

"Why'd he bring his kid with 'em?"

"A child, eh! This is gonna be too easy."

"Armor won't help you now."

They murmured and laughed at Edward and Alphonse (mostly Ed) until Kishinomoto yelled out, "Lets end it now, plan CHIKYUU! Go!"

The person in the second cell did a series of strange hand signs and yelled out "earth style, sand trap jutsu!" The ground beneath the two alchemists' feet turned to quicksand, immobilizing them long enough for Ukki to use his own powers.

"What is this?" yelled Ed, struggling to break free before Ukki could make his move.

"Alchemy?" questioned Alphonse.

Before anything could be answered, Ukki finished his hand signs, causing strangely large plant roots to come out of the ground, further trapping the new guards.

Ed and Al continued to sink while the plants just grew. They soon engulfed the entire space and were slowly prying open the cells.

The prisoners began hand signs of their own, preparing for a fight when they are able to get out. By now Ukki's cell had been opened enough for him to slip out.

"Better luck next time, Amestris!" he called, passing by Ed and Al. He opened the door expecting freedom and finding, a hole in the wall.

"What the hell!" he yelled, pressing his hand against the back wall, "What did you scum do to the exit!"

"Perhaps it's some sort of genjutsu…" suggested the second person to escape his cell.

"Listen, you bastards! If you don't-"

Ukki yelled, turning round to find Edward and Alphonse free from the quicksand.

"Don't what…?" Ed said with an evil grin on his face "I really don't think you're in any place to be giving orders."

"Feh, so what if you're freed? So am I…" Ukki said, regaining his confidence, "I am a shinobi warrior, a jounin, and you are nothing but a little boy and his tin man!"

"That's a new one!" Al said, completing his alchemic circle on the wall and pressing down with both hands.

A flicker of flame appeared on a nearby root and quickly spread across them all.

"Now then…" Edward said clapping his hands together

"…are you ready to get back in your cell…" he ran his left arm across his right and blade shot out "…or will I have to force you back!?"

"Come on Kishinomoto, we better do what he says," whispered the second escapee, "This guy means business!"

Ukki put his head down.

"That's a good boy; now just… get back… in…" Ed noticed he had his fists balled.

The ninja punched Ed right in the face, sending him flying backwards. "It wouldn't be any fun if I just gave up," Ukki said, smirking "Show me what you've got."

"Big Brother!" Al called out.

He stood between them, giving Edward time to recover.

Alphonse threw his metallic fist at the enemy, missing and crushing part of the stone doorway.

"You're fast…" Ukki said, making more hand signs "…but not fast enough!"

More plants appeared, one growing upward and pulling the head right off Alphonse's armor.

"Wh-what's going on!?" asked Ukki seeing nothing inside.

"Aw man!" Al complained looking around for his head "Why does this always happen?"

"Here ya go," called Ed, tossing it to his brother.

Al reattached the head while Edward told a very confused shinobi, "If you still feel like fighting, try me on for size."

"You think you're so powerful…" Ukki said with disgust, performing a new series of hand signs "Shadow clone jutsu!"

In a puff of strange white smoke, three doppelgangers appeared.

"Your little illusions won't work!" Ed yelled, putting his hands together and pressing against the ground. A portion of the floor seemed to liquefy and sent a quickly hardening wave at the ninja foe.

The clones puffed away, leaving Ukki trapped.

"Congratulations…" said Alphonse picking up the clipboard and making the necessary marks "… on your 100th failed escape."

**I know Naruto's not in it yet, but I promise he'll be the main character in the next chapter!**

**Please tell me if you think I should continue; constructive criticism is great as long as it is helpful more than it is hurtful.**


	2. A ninja's trouble

**wow, 2 reviews --way to boost my confidence. anywas, the last one had no Naruto and now it's nothign but. Not the best format for a crossover i know but i like how it turned out. **

**Are people not reading cuz it's long or something . i just can't figure it out. i'v never gotten so low on a first chapter... well, here it iz, chapter 2... enjoy...**

**Catastrophic**

**chapter two: A ninja's trouble**

"Do we **really** have to bring **all** this **junk**." Complained a blond boy clad in all orange with a blue metallic headband tied around his forehead.

His three companions and he all had similar bands and each also carried rather heavy looking backpacks.

"This _junk_ happens to be supplies for the shinobi who are fighting for the safety of this village." Said a silver haired man. He had his headband crossed over one eye and wore a mask hiding the lower half of his face.

He also wore a green vest with lots of strange pockets and a black shirt and pair of pants. "… now, we should start going before it gets dark."

"Yeah Naruto!" Called a girl with pink hair hitting the blond boy on the head "it's an honor to help those risking there lives every day for ungrateful brats like you!"

She had an unusually large forehead with her headband tied up in her hair. She wore a red dress that had a slight collar and tight kapries underneath.

"Can we just go already?"

Moaned the last of the group, He had dark eyes and black hair that stood up in the back. The boy was dressed in shorts and a black short sleeved shirt with a collar.

He wore his headband same as the blond boy and had wraps on his arms and legs.

"Looks like we're all ready, lets go." Said the masked man disappearing in a flash of speed off to the forest, the other nin silently followed.

"Kakashi sensai…"

Called Naruto after hardly even ten minutes of peaceful traveling

"How long will it take to get there anyway?"

"We should arrive in about 2 hours…" answered the jonin. "What!" Naruto yelled back "T-two hours! That's crazy!"

The black haired shinobi snickered at his comrade's response. "SHUT UP SASU-KE" he yelled scorning his teammate more then usual.

Almost an hour past sunset they arrived at there destination.

It had taken even longer then Kakashi's estimate because of Naruto's complaining and by the time they were there all four where annoyed and exhausted. Naruto laid down on the grass after handing his bag to the leaf commander for distribution.

There wasn't much to this base camp; it was composed of a bunch of tents in a small clearing of the forest. There were lots of injured shinobi around and one tent that appeared to hold deceased.

There were also prisoners tied up and being questioned.

Suddenly the base seemed to become far too quite. Many ninja were looking over towards the forest, including group seven's leader.

"There coming."

Kakashi silently pulled out a kunai, motioning for his team to backup, but no one moved.

A barrage of spikes from out of the forest pushed up the ground.

An incredibly muscular man came out from the forest with troops in blue uniforms.

A man with black hair and an eye patch came out in front of the army and lead them into battle against the ninja forces.

People were running around frantically. It only took a few seconds for the fighting to rapidly move to the trio. Gun shots and ninjutsu and attacks they didn't understand at all flared all around them.

Kakashi had already disappeared into the mess of fighting.

"We need to get out of here!" yelled Sakura slowly backing up.

Out of nowhere random shots were fired at the kids, causing them to scatter in different directions.

Naruto paused on a tall tree branch to try and find his teammates but it was no use, it was dark and the seen was far too chaotic.

The man who led the attack was running fast as any ninja, whipping around his duel swords at anyone unlucky enough to cross his path.

Other then him nobody on there side looked like they were trying to kill, were they only here to obtain some prisoners?

"Sasuke!"

Naruto said to himself upon sighting his lost friend.

Just before he jumped down to join Sasuke something happened, the strong guy from before appeared, pushing his hands against the ground to cause a giant arm to come out. It held Sasuke against a tree while another soldier tied him up and blindfolded him.

"What are you doing!?" Naruto yelled out as more soldiers came to take his teammate away. He looked out to find this happening everywhere.

Naruto jumped down to try and rescue Sasuke.

"come back here!"

He called nearing his companion but just then a metal object hit the side of his head, knocking Naruto to the ground.

He felt blood drip down the side of his face. Naruto looked up to find a soldier holding a gun to his head.

"Why you…" he said preparing to stand despite the obvious threat. Naruto moaned and grabed his leg as two fiery stings blasted threw his left calf. He turned to try and find whoever shot him but suddenly everything went black.

"_Am I dead_?"

Naruto instantly thought, but no, the pain was still there. He couldn't move his arms or legs and his vision had been reduced to total darkness.

"_They must have tied me up just like Sasuke_." He realized struggling to break free. The sounds of war lingered all around him and it felt like two soldiers must be dragging him somewhere.

"_no chance of making a hand sign…_" he thought, trying to find a way out. His captors stopped.

A plastic mask was held up to his face and a soft wind blowed out of it. "Got to stay awake…"

He whispered, beginning to feel drowsy "…got to… escape…"

Some time later he began to regain conciseness. Naruto moaned, still feeling the untreated wounds. "Up already?" asked an unknown voice. The blindfold was still on and he couldn't see a thing.

"Who are you?"

Naruto yelled out, asking anything that popped into his mind

"Where's Sasuke?"

He felt someone tug on the blindfold, causing it to fall to the ground. Naruto looked up to find the eye patched man from before standing over him.

"All your ninja friends are still out cold from our sleeping powder… I wonder why it wore off on you so quickly…"

"Where am I?" The genin asked noticing his strange surroundings.

He was in a large room. There were no windows a door in the far back. Blue coated soldiers were all around. About twenty other ninja were around, all blindfolded and resting.

Naruto looked back up to the man, remembering how he slaughtered so many shinobi out in the battlefield "who are you…"

"oh yes, how rude of me…" The man said politely "Welcome to Amestris. I am this lands leader, Fuhrer President King Bradley."

"So you're like the Hokage?" Naruto said confused.

"Tell us the secrets of your village's… _jutsu…_ and you will be set free." King Bradley said ignoring Naruto's attempted reference to Konaha "what do you say?"

"NO CHANCE IN HELL I'D BETRAY THE LEAF VILLAGE!!!" Naruto yelled with amazing passion "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME! NO LEAF NINJA WOULD **EVER** GIVE IN TO YOU!!!"

"That's to bad…" He whispered back.

The Fuhrer turned to a passing soldier and called out "You there, tell me… are there any free cells at this time?"

"Well according to my records, one prisoner has been scheduled for execution but I-"

"Good." Said the Fuhrer President, grabbing Naruto's collar "I'll take care of it, tell me witch block it's in and under who's jurisdiction."

The young nin could hardly understand a word he just said but knew nothing good would come of it "_If only I could use my shadow clone jutsu._"

"Um… uhh…" Said the soldier scrambling threw papers to try and find the information just asked of him

"Let's see here… block 4… currently under fullmetal's jurisdiction."

"Perfect…" King Bradley said hoisting Naruto on his shoulder and leaving the room.

"Where are you taking me?"

Naruto asked, continuing his question streak "Where's Sasuke and the others?!"

He sent naruto a death glare that silenced him. They were walking down a dark hallway, dim lights flickering from above there heads.

"oh yes!" said King Bradley, taking the blindfold out of his pocket and tying it around Naruto's head "Can't have you peaking around can we…"

Under normal circumstances Naruto probably would have been plotting some illogical escape plan but he felt something was strange about this man. Something dark.

After a few minutes walking along hallways, down stairs, and at one point What Naruto thought could be outside Bradley announced "we're here."

He was unblindfolded to just to discover that they two of them were cramped into a tiny pitch black room.

Naruto herd two knocks and then a door opened.

"King Bradley!" Ed called out in surprise "what are you doing here, sir?"

The room was in shambles.

Though despite the dead plants lying about, the bent up cell doors and a ditch carved into the floor every ninja remained behind bars.

"I'm delivering a new captive." He said throwing Naruto on the floor "…and I'm here to eliminate the most troublesome prisoner."

Bradley turned to the first cell. Ukki was caught in a slab of concrete no doubt that had once been the floor.

He pulled out a set of keys and unhinged the cell. "You'll need these." King Bradley said tossing them to Ed as he stepped inside.

"Hello mr.Ukki Kishinomoto." He whispered lifting him and walking out of the cell.

"What are you doing!?"

"What's gonna happen to Kishinomoto!"

"Let him go!"

The other shinobi yelled as the Fuhrer exited with the jonin. King Bradley saluted Ed, and closed the door.

**two whole long chapters and teh crossover still isn't completely together . im sorry, you have to keep in mind i originally** **planned this it be a one shot. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!! **


	3. Two blonds that don't get along

**Sorry it took a little longer for me to put this chapter out. It typically takes me a week… anyways thank you for the reviews, I know I suck at spelling and grammar, I'm fine with criticism and I'll try to improve.**

**Catastrophic**

**Chapter three: Two blonds that don't get along**

Amestris' leader, King Bradley had just come out of the blue to do something any military officer could have done, take a prisoner and dropped off another to fill the cell, and then left. Just like that.

For a moment Edward and Alphonse stood there in silence.

The two where still confused about the Fuhrer's actions (but standing around attempting to contemplate it wouldn't help.)

Al turned to Naruto calling out, "A kid?!" upon notice that there was a 12 year old boy as the new prisoner.

"Why'd they send a twerp like you onto the battle field?" Ed asked, poking Naruto's spiky hair.

"Must be getting desperate I suppose." Al answered in a slightly mocking tone.

"Who are you calling a twerp you twerp!" Naruto yelled, showing off his mad insult skills "I'm a trained ninja, while you're just some shrimp with a pet robot!"

"You're the one tied up on the floor!" Edward said glaring at he stranger. He threw Naruto into Ukki's old cell and gave him a raspberry.

"What's your name?" Al asked.

"IM NARUTO UZUMAKI THE VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE LEAF'S FUTURE HOKAGE AND YOUR **WORST NIGHTMEAR**!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say…" Ed said, ignoring Naruto "I'm hungry!"

"My name's Al and this is my big brother Edward."

"We better clean up this mess." Said Ed looking around at the damage Ukki caused, yet again trying to get to subject off Naruto.

"Oh yeah, I had almost forgotten!" Al replied looking around. The walls were a bit beaten up; all the cells were pried open partially, and the floor near the door had a gap in it. Not to mention part of the ground was still quicksand. "So… where do we start?"

"… uhh… you can fix the cells while I take care of the quicksand and walls…" Said Edward while still wondering why the Fuhrer hadn't said anything about the messed up appearance _"is it normal for a cell to get trashed like this…? How strong are these people...?"_

"What about the gap in the floor…" Al said, snapping Edward out of his thoughts.

"We don't have anything to replace the missing stone." He answered, and all this time Naruto is basically yelling random shit at them, all of which the Elrics are now completely ignoring.

Alphonse began to draw a strange pattern on the ground by a bent up cell door. In a flash of blue light the bars pulled down and instantly were restored as if nothing had happened to them in the first place.

The amazing sight quieted Naruto, if only for a moment. While Al went to the next cell to start a new circle Ed simply clapped his hands together and the walls where good as new.

"H-how did you do that!?" asked Naruto in astonishment "I've never seen a ninjutsu like that!"

"nin-what?" said Edward, finally acknowledging the boy "I don't know what your talking about, this is just alchemy."

"Yeah," added Al having finished another repair "don't you have alchemy in your country?"

"…no." Naruto answered a bit confused as to what alchemy _is_.

"wait a second…" Ed replyed "…then what exactly was that attack Ukki used?"

"A jutsu of course." Chimed in the prisoner from the next cell.

Ed and Al looked over to him, and it wasn't until now that they noticed how quite all the other captives have been. This is the first time any on of them said a word since Ukki was taken away.

"What's a… jut-su?" asked Al.

"You godda be kidding me! You really don't know! Even _I_ know about jutsu!" yelled Naruto in his usual cocky tone.

Edward and Alphonse genuinely had no idea what any of them were talking about.

"You know…" said Naruto still not believing that someone could really not know what a jutsu was "like a ninjutsu… or genjutsu…or… any of this ringing a bell?"

"Give it up kid." Called another prisoner from a far back cell "there not gonna understand. Things are different for them; they don't know the first thing about shinobi."

"But that'll just make it easier right!" Naruto called out "Easier to escape!"

Nobody answered him.

"Nice, you're a regular motivational speaker." Mocked Ed with a grin "No way any of you are going to get past my brother and me."

"You just wait and see!" Naruto glared at Edward with a devilish grin, and then turned to his left at the other leaf nin.

"_All these people… have they just given up?"_ he thought for a moment and then took a deep breath "OKAY!" Naruto yelled out trying to get the other prisoner's attention "WE JUST NEED A PLAN, ANYBODY HAVE ANY SIDJECTIONS?!!"

"you know we can hear you…" said Ed sitting down in the chair just outside the cell.

"I DON'T CARE!" Naruto yelled back "WE'LL GET OUT I KNOW IT! COME ON WE JUST NEED TO THINK OF SOMETHING! IT'LL BE EASY! THESE GUYS DON'T KNOW THERE CHAKARA FROM THERE… uhh… there… something else…"

"This guys a joke." Said Edward with a sigh, while Naruto continued blathering on, "Guard duty, it's just a waste of our time. What we really need to be doing is more research about the philosopher's stone. What I wouldn't give for a book right now…"

"Don't worry big brother," replied Al. He pulled of the chest plate of his armor to reveal a small library of alchemic books "… I picked up a few before we came."

"Wow, you're my hero." Ed answered pulling out a red book from there stock "…but… when exactly did you get all of these?"

"oh… it's a funny story actually-"

-GRRRUMMBLE-

Everyone looked over to Naruto who suddenly stopped talking. "hehe…" he said "… guess I forgot… I haven't eaten anything all day today…"

"_This kid's an even bigger loser then I thought…"_ Ed thought to himself while everybody moaned at how annoying Naruto was being "_…but… I'm really hungry too…"_

"Diner should be coming in about an hour." Alphonse said referring back to Ed's assignment paper "You'll just have to wait until then."

At the same time Naruto and Edward complained "Awww, But I'm soooo hungry!" after witch they glared at one another again.

Ed went back to reading his books and Naruto went to the back of the cell facing the wall, internally whining about not being fed. Then a small black envelope came from a crack in the back of the wall.

Naruto turned around to check if Ed had noticed… and he hadn't. He grabbed the note and opened it as quietly as he could. Witch is not very quite, but because Edward and Alphonse were reading they didn't hear.

Inside was a white peace of paper that read "Wait, Shut up, and play along no matter what might happen."

This of course made very little sense and Naruto had no idea who sent it or how they knew it would reach him. He turned it to the back which said "Can't be Hokage locked up in here now then can you."

**I'm sorry; this chapter didn't exactly have any action… mostly hints of comedy… I just needed Ed and Naruto to officially meet. The next one will be more important to the story. I should be able to put it out soon. ****Can you guess who the note's from?**

**!!! PLEASE REVIEW !!!**


	4. Who is Kakashi?

**I'm glad people are likening my story. **

**Somebody guessed Ed sent the note... and no offence, I don't see how that's even possable... he was behind him... it came from in the wall in front of him...**

**The title for this one is supposed to be like in "Who wants to be a millionaire" when you answer like a question… it doesn't really seem that way dose it… whatever. Enjoy.**

**Catastrophic**

**Chapter four: Who is… Kakashi?**

The next day Edward and Alphonse had already finished all the books and were trying to find some kind of entertainment.

Ed was sprawled across the hole in the ground that they hadn't managed to fix while Al leaned against the wall beside the chair and clipboard.

Edward turned to face Naruto, but the boy was fast asleep.

Suddenly two loud knocks came from the door, causing Ed to scramble to his feet. "To early for breakfast…" he mumbled turning the knob.

"I'm here for…" said a man standing there. He looked down at a paper he was holding and read it aloud "… Uzumaki Naruto…"

The stranger had silver hair that stuck up sort of and an eye patch covering his left eye that slightly reviled a vertical scar. He wore a typical military uniform but something seemed strange about him.

Hearing that voice naruto began to wake up; he looked to the man and without thinking whispered "Kakashi…?"

The man handed Edward what appeared to be an official relocation letter for Naruto, signed by the Fuhrer himself.

"He's right in there." Said Al pointing to the first cell. The two brothers looked at one another as if they were reading each other's thoughts about this stranger. They both could tell something was up.

The man stood there smiling while Ed took the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. Naruto stood up and whipped his eyes open, trying to make sure his half asleep eyes weren't playing tricks on him.

"_It is Kakashi. Wow, he's not wearing his mask or headband."_ Naruto thought as Kakashi put handcuffs on him _"He must have sent that note… wonder what his plan is."_

"Thank you for your cooperation." He said with a smile, starting to take Naruto out the door "Good buy."

"Actually, I'd like to come with you…" Ed said with a grin of his own "… if you don't mind."

"_Oh great!_" Naruto worried, fighting hard to stick with Kakashi's instructions and not say anything out loud _"There onto us!_"

"Of course not…" Kakashi answered "but who will watch the prisoners?"

"You can handle it, right Al." Edward said giving Alphonse a thumbs up.

"Sure." Al replied.

"All right." Kakashi said showing no change in emotion at all.

The three of them squished inside and closed the door, and then Kakashi took off the eye patch and began drawing some kind of symbol on the ceiling in chalk.

He pressed his hands against the finished symbols and put the eye patch back into place as the stone opened up another room.

"Hay that's that alchemy stuff…" Naruto said as the three of then climbed up "… how do _you_ know how to do that _Ka_-"

He stopped in his tracks realizing he was about to say Kakashi's name. "That's none of your business." said Kakashi; covering up for his student's little slip up.

Edward acted as if nothing had happened and they walked up the stairs in silence. When they approached the top, dim light could be seen coming from outside the open door. Ed stopped walking just before they reached the top.

"Who are you" he said abruptly; Edward was ahead of them blocking the entrance.

"What do you mean?" said Kakashi sticking to his act.

"Did you really think something so obvious would work?" Ed asked with a smirk.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kakashi was keeping his cool but Naruto… not so much. His mouth was shut but his horrible poker face gave them away to anyone with half a brain.

"If you're really in our military, tell me who you work under." Ed said, trying to see the extent of this man's research.

"Colonel Roy Mustang." He answered right off the back.

"How about this…" Ed said, still determined to unmask this stranger "… what is Riza Hawkeye's favorite weapon?"

"I don't see how this relates to Colonel Mustang…" He replied, trying to get out of it, because he honestly didn't knowing the answer or even who this Riza Hawkeye was.

Ed pressed his hands against the ground and a plethora of metal bars blocked all of them from escaping. "Surrender…" Edward said, still not facing them "… and nobody has to get hurt."

There was a strange sound and Ed turned around to find tons of Kakashis standing there, each holding throwing stars or unique looking knifes.

"Oh, somebody is going to get hurt alright." One of the Kakashis in front answered.

"Magic tricks won't work with me." Said Edward clapping his hands and pushing them down. A barrage of spikes sprung up towards the clone army. "Got ya." Ed whispered, expecting them to disappear like Ukki's did.

Instead most jumped over them, completely intact and ready for a fight. Only a few had been caught. Ed stepped back startled by this outcome but found himself trapped by his own bars.

"KAKASHI!" yelled Naruto, not being able to stay silent any longer "HELP ME GET THESE CUFFS OFF!!!"

Yes, Naruto had been left there with the hand cuffs on, and Kakashi didn't respond to his cries for help.

The clones rushed at Edward, two of them held him against the wall. Another examined the barricade, removing the eye patch to reveal a strange red eye "amazing work." He said turning to the young alchemist.

Edward struggled to free his arms and managed to transform his auto mail into a blade. "Thanks." He replied cutting threw his captors, who instantly disappeared into a puff of white smoke.

He lunged for what he thought to be the real Kakashi, but a few moments after he made contact it transformed into a large peace of wood.

Without giving him any time to recover someone punched Edward in the back of the head, sending him face first into the wall. Ed whipped around, his vision blurred by the blood that dripped down his face.

Kakashi and Naruto stood there, smiling with satisfaction. Just before Ed passed out he herd Kakashi say "That wasn't much of a challenge."

**I make Naruto get ignored a lot don't I… ****Anyways, thank you all so much for reading. I know i'm not so great at grammer, but thanks for all the positave comments dispite my flaw.**

**I'm not very good a fight scenes, the other stories I wrote where all comedy or romance (oh no! Shojo!! I don't wanna be a shojo writer!!) **

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	5. Blindfolded

**I'm sorry it took so long. I've just been very busy. This chapter is sort of short but I really just wanted to put something out there for now.**

**Catastrophic**

**Chapter five: Blindfolded**

After awhile Alphonse herd a knock on the door, he could tell something was up. When he opened the door no one was there, but a plane black envelope was laying on the ground.

Al picked it up and opened it to find a note reading "_If you want to see your big brother alive, release all the prisoners and come to this address by 6:00."_ At the bottom was simply a street name with no explanation or signature.

"Edward…" he said with a sigh "…you idiot… what have you gotten yourself into this time…?"

Who knows how long later, Edward awoke and after momentarily thinking he had gone blind figured out he had been tied up and blindfolded.

"This is not my day…" he mumbled to himself, sitting up and trying to squirm free.

"Who's the one tied up on the floor now?!" Taunted a voice he instantly knew to be the young blond boy, Naruto Uzumaki "We're the one's in charge now so you better watch it!"

A hand reached over and untied the blindfold.

The lights were strangely intense and Edward looked away so his eyes could adjust. He found a strong lamp pointed right into his face like at an interrogation table. There were 3 people standing over him.

"Who are you people?!" asked Ed, his every word filled with an unknown rage "What do you want?!!!! What are you planning!!?!"

"Calm down." Said one of the people, she moved the light slightly so Ed could vaguely see "You make us out as hardened criminals when you were the one who locked us up." She appeared to be a girl about Naruto's age with long pink hair. The other two he recognized, though he still didn't know Kakashi's name.

"You see Mr.Elric," Kakashi said calmly moving the light back into place "…We're merely taking advantage of the situation and trying to find some common ground for our country in this pointless war."

Edward nodded, not yet realizing Kakashi hadn't answered any of his questions.

"I'm Sakura," said the girl politely "…that's our sensei Kakashi and you know Naruto. It would be much easier for you to co-operate."

"Co-operate with what?!" he yelled confused.

"Amestris has been taking an awful lot of prisoners and we thought we should empty up the cells for you." Kakashi answered slyly "…and a state alchemist is perfect bait."

Ed finally understood what was going on. He looked around the room best he could, but all he could make out was an empty desk a bed and a window. Outside it looked to be around sunset.

The alchemist quickly started devising an escape plan, it was too complex to ever work but the first step was easy; get untied.

"_Ropes won't hold me back._" He thought, wanting to smirk at how foolish it was for them to even try containing him "_…my auto mail is super strong and can easily break threw._"

Just as he was about to start, what he though was going to be an effortless escape it hit him that… "…m-my arm… and leg…" his auto mail was missing "…WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!"

"Looking for these?" said Sakura holding up his auto mail "… yeah we took them off."

"I CAN SEE THAT!!" he replied, now completely pissed off "GIVE THEM BACK RIGHT NOW YOU SQUIRT!!!!"

"Prosthetic limbs…" Kakashi said to nobody in general as Ed yelled and cursed at the little girl "that must be how you got that title. Anyone who sees you two would think it was your brother who's the state alchemist… that would make more sense…"

"SHUT UP!" Edward yelled at Kakashi. All this time Naruto was having a laughing fit at how much Ed was being mocked. "YOU TOO!!"

He was still struggling like crazy, even with only his two regular limbs. All he managed to do was knock himself over in his chair witch caused Naruto to laugh even harder. At this point even Sakura couldn't hold it in.

Kakashi kept a straight face and picked the chair back up saying "I think you should calm down." He glared over at Sakura and Naruto causing them to stop and then slowly stepped behind the glow of the lamp turning back to Ed "we still have some things we want to ask you about."

Somehow he had managed to make everything instantly serious. "Ask away." Said Edward not sure what to expect.

"What is the purpose of this war?" Kakashi said sliding the light a bit closer to Ed's face.

"Hell if I know!" He replied turning away again. His eyes were starting to hurt really badly and it felt as if the lamp was baking him alive.

"Why are you so damn short!??!!" yelled Naruto, shattering the tension in the room with his annoyingly high pitch 12 year old voice "And that alchemy stuff, you never told me how you did that!!!"

"I've been wondering about that too…" said Kakashi, threw Ed's vertically chalanged rant of anger. He was trying to bring everyone back on topic "I can use my sharingon to copy the patterns used in Alchemy but you don't seem to need them…"

"Where did you learn all this stuff about alchemy and our military…?" Ed asked, not wanting to explain the gate to some foreign kidnapper.

"Library." Answered Sakura as if it was completely obvious.

"Where did **you** learn it!" yelled Naruto as if it was some kind of comeback.

"Why are so many people being taken prisoner?" Kakashi asked ignoring Naruto's stupid question "Do you know anything?"

"Not really." Ed answered, clearly not thinking the question through enough "I try to say out of as much military business as possible…"

"But you're a _state_ alchemist!!" said Sakura confused "You _work_ for the military! How can you _possibly_ stay out of there business when _there_ business is _your_ business!!"

"It's hard…" replied Ed with a joking grin "… but I manage."

"Then why do you work for the state at all…?" Kakashi said with a sigh, walking over to the window and looking outside.

"That's my business…" Ed whispered angrily. He now had a massive headache and desperately wanted something to eat before he collapsed of starvation.

"Right on time." Kakashi said watching something that was outside the window "Come on." He grabbed the back of Edward's shirt and started dragging him out the window.

"WHAT THE-!" Ed shrieked as the ninja jumped swiftly out. Naruto and Sakura silently followed, neather sure exactly what was going on.

Kakashi landed softly but let Ed down hard. He was still moaning when a familiar voice called out "Big brother! Are you okay down there?!"

"Al?' he said looking up.

Behind Alphonse stood the other formally imprisoned ninja from Ed's guard post. They all were smiling smugly as if a long anticipated plan had finally worked out; witch all this very well could be…

**You all had some very interesting comments after the last chapter, its interesting hearing your thoughts. I'll try to update faster . **

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	6. Fights with Ninjas

**Im sorry that it took me so impassably long . I really just had writers block (also school started and it sorta had me flustered) I'll try to be better (but no promises.**

**Someone awhile back asked when this takes place in the Naruto world… well… I really don't know… if I said Sakura had long hair it was most likely a mistake but I really don't think it matters very much because… in Naruto they never met Ed or Al or anybody else from FMA… **

Behind Alphonse stood the other formally imprisoned ninja from Ed's guard post. They all were smiling smugly as if a long anticipated plan had finally worked out; witch all this very well could be…

"Here you go." Kakashi said throwing Edward at Alphonse "looks like were even." Sakura tossed over the auto mail and they all started to walk away. The other shinobi following silently as they made there way down the street.

"Wait!" Ed called out after a few seconds, causing Kakashi to turn around. Al had just finished untying him and reattaching his limbs. Ed had a grin on his face "I never got my rematch."

Kakashi stood there a moment as if pondering weather Ed was worth it, then he turned to Naruto and Sakura saying "Hay, think you two can handle it?"

"You bet!" Naruto yelled while Sakura nodded in agreement "Believe it!"

Edward was clearly not happy about being brushed off and he stepped into the street light's glow. By now it was past sunset and getting darker each second. There were no cars on the street, leaving plenty of room for a fight, but Ed was only interested in going against Kakashi again.

The jonin was already walking away with his entourage. "Come back here!" Ed yelled out but they had already disappeared into the shadows. He glared over at Naruto muttering "fine, I'll deal with you first…"

In a burst of anger Naruto ran at Edward yelling "SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" and with some lightning fast hand signs twenty Naruto now stampeded towards the Alchemists.

"Hold up Naruto!" called out Sakura but there was no stopping him.

The first clone attempted to hold Ed still while the next struck. With a smirk he ducked down, throwing the Naruto holding him into the next and making them both disappear in a puff of smoke.

A bunch ran at Alphonse, dog-pilling on top of him with hopes to over power him. Al easily escaped, sending the ninjas flying in all directions. Each fading away as soon as they hit the ground.

Only 5 clones remained. They stopped and glared at Ed for a moment before four of them suddenly vanished. Naruto stepped out of the smoke left behind thinking "_This guy is gonna be tough to beat, I godda think up a strategy._" After a few more seconds' naruto created one more clone.

"Come on, don't you have any other tricks?"

Suddenly they began gathering energy in one of the clone's hand. He started charging forward yelling "RASENGAN"

"Get out of the way!" yelled Al pushing his big brother to safety just before Naruto striked. Alphonse was right in the line of fire but Naruto managed to turn right at the last second, heading for Edward again.

Ed jumped and pushed down Naruto's arm with the landing.

With a puff of smoke a huge dent was made in the ground beneath Edwards's feet. They both fell down and started fist fighting until Al and Sakura managed to separate them.

Ed pulled away from his little brother clapping his hands and pushing them against the ground with a mad grin on his face. The ninja tried to jump out of the way but didn't make it in time. They were now trapped in a stone cage that appeared out of the ground.

"Hay!" yelled naruto, slamming against the bars "That's cheating!!"

The alchemists easily brought the two trapped genin back to the prison cells. All the way they ignored there annoying chatter and talked about how they'd get Kakashi to face Ed again.

"So were just gonna wait?!" asked Ed as they walked down the staircase. A dent in the wall remained where Ed got defeated in his fight against Kakashi.

"yup!" replied Alphonse, effortlessly carrying the caged Naruto and Sakura behind him "He knows where to find us, and I doubt he will leave these two here without a fight."

"Guess your right." Said Edward. They were now near the bottom but stopped upon hearing footsteps coming downwards.

"You losers…" called a voice after a few seconds of waiting. Ed and Al turned around to find another 12 year old kid. He had black hair and red eyes. With a laugh he asked "…How could you get yourselves captured? That's pathetic, even for you, Naruto."

"SASUKE!" Sakura yelled happily while Naruto glared at his rival.

"great…" Ed said sarcastically "another ninja. How many of you guys are there?"

"Don't worry big brother!" Alphonse called out, putting down Sakura and Naruto in front of Edward "I'll take care of this one. I've been sitting at the sidelines to long today."

"Okay…" Ed said a bit surprised. He tried to pull the cage down the steps more but found it far too heavy and decided to wait for Al to carry it.

Alphonse took a fighting position, as did Sasuke. "I don't want to fight you." Al proclaimed.

Sasuke just smirked and charged forward yelling "Too bad." He kicked at Alphonse but it was easily blocked. He quickly moved to another kick, this one Al caught and sent the nin flying to the wall.

Sasuke recovered quickly and used the wall to propel forward. He did a number of hand sings and then caused a sphere of fire to shoot out of his mouth at Al.

Sasuke jumped back forward, knowing that, that wouldn't have stopped someone in full body armor but was surprised that Al caught him again.

It utterly confused him that his direct hit had caused nothing but some scorch marks. It was as if he hadn't felt it at all somehow.

Instead of throwing him again Al held on and launched a punch while still holding the boy's head. Sasuke somehow managed to duck, and twisted his body in an attempt to use his other leg to kick his captor in the head.

Alphonse moved into a block but couldn't hold him anymore. Sasuke dived down and then plunged forward with a punch at Al's face. It made contact.

The helmet was sent flying revealing yet again, Al's little secret.

All the members of team seven stood there shocked. Ed caught the helmet but Al yelled back "just keep it for awhile," He launched forward, taking advantage of the confusion to send Sasuke flying with one forceful punch "better off without it anyway."

"SASUKE!" called out Naruto and Sakura as there comrade cringed with pain from his harsh landing.

He whipped up his head as soon as he was able to recover but it was too late. Alphonse had already finished his alchemy circle.

A familure effect came after he pushed his hands down against the symbols. Stone hands reached out from the walls and floors, there was so escape.

**That's alchemists 2 ninja 1. **

**Sorry Naruto fans, I'm a strict Alchemist loveh. Oh wait, if you count Ukki that's alchemists 3 ninja 1… don't worry they'll get there revenge, and if your worried that the big main characters faceing each other was short and lame, don't worry. Rematches are my specialties… maybe… well… we'll figure that out won't we.**

**Oh and thanks for all the complements. (I feel all luffedw)**


	7. Dungeons and Decisions

**well, at least i got this one out alittle faster... iv been done for a few days but was waiting to see if i could get any more reviews. Guess i should be happy with three... but i won't put anything out with any less then that. **

**Anyways, if you happened to read my last chapter the first day it was out I'm sure your confused, I got mixed up and left out the beginning of the chapter. It's fixed now and I'm REALLY sorry for the mistake. Now, on with the chapter!**

**Catastrophic**

**Chapter seven: Dungeons and Decisions**

Team seven was brought down to the bottom of the stairs and all the way to the basement but instead of locking them up in the cells Ed and Al tied them all together with a steel cable created from a few of the bars and sat the captured nin out in the hallway with them.

When they first reached the room Ed and Al were forced to explain enough of there current situation to stop the ninja from going crazy at seeing a moving suit of armor with nothing inside.

All five of them waited now, each off in there own world.

The talking had stopped when Ed decided to keep Naruto's mouth shut with a makeshift gag using extra rope he had. Since then everything was silent. Edward wasn't even thinking about the current situation at all really. His mind was focused fully of the Philosopher's stone and the portal of truth.

"Hay Ed…" Alphonse whispered "I was thinking…"

Everyone looked over to him, glad to have a new conversation finally start up. "What?"

"…those hand-sings the ninja make…" He continued, gesturing towards the genin "…I was thinking how they remind me of how you clap your hands together to do alchemy… maybe it's there way of gathering energy from the gate…"

"What gate?" Sakura interrupted.

"It's hard to explain." Edward said "I see your point Al, I sorta thought the same thing, but what they do seems very different from alchemy…"

"Maybe…" Al replied "...there just manipulating things in a different way. Temporarily changing form, or shifting chemical form… I donno… we'd have to know more information…"

"What do you need to know?" asked Sasuke slyly.

Naruto of course was trying to say something most likely loud and annoying but all that made it out was muffled moans with no translation.

"What do the hand positions symbolize? What do they do?" Asked Ed turning to face him "What gives you the ability to make a doppelganger?"

"The hand signs each create different way to manipulate chakara depending on the order you do them in." Sakura answered "To make a successful shadow clone you have to complete the correct hand signs and summon the right amount of chakara to form the clone."

Sasuke glared at her as if she had done something wrong and she looked down in shame.

"chakara…" Ed said "what's chakara?"

Through the gag naruto managed to let out a distorted laugh, Sasuke and Sakura turned away, not wanting to give any more information.

"I see…" said Al "So the different hand signs are just like the ruins in an alchemy circle?"

Before anyone else had a chance to speak a knock was made on the door. Ed and Al got up to answer and were greeted with a familiar voice. "How's it going Fullmetal?" Said the man standing there "I hear you got yourself in some trouble."

"Colonel!?" Ed asked in shock "What are you doing here?"

Roy Mustang came in, eyeing the ninja carefully. He had black hair and a blue uniform with white gloves. "I was on my way to check up on you when I herd something happened."

"How'd you hear about that?" asked Ed

"An eye witness." Roy was acting a bit off but not enough to make Ed or Al really suspicious.

"Yeah well…" Ed continued, ignoring the feeling in his gut that something was wrong "…all the other prisoners escaped, these three are the only one's left."

"I can't believe the great Fullmetal Alchemist got overpowered." He said with a laugh "...looks like you're losing your touch."

"Don't you wish?" Edward said with a joking growl.

Roy chuckled a little and grinned evilly.

"Hay…" whispered a childish voice from the door. Everyone turned to see an eye peaking threw the doorway "…hay envy… can I eat them now…"

Mustang's expression instantly changed to annoyance. "Idiot." He muttered shaking his head. Suddenly Mustang transformed into someone completely different. He was now a new person entirely and had long black hair wearing a tight black top and tight shorts.

Edward glared at the person formally known as Roy while the ninja sat there, all thinking the same thing at the same time "A_ transformation jutsu?!_"

"No. You. Can. Not. Eat. Them." Envy yelled as the hidden stranger slipped into the room. "You ruined our element of surprise." Ed launched an attack, already having turned his auto mail into a blade again.

The creature at the door was now in the room standing there in the corner. He…or_ it_ rather, was pale as a sheet, and fat as a pig. Drool dripped from the side of his mouth and he turned to face the ninja, with an evil grin asking his companion "how about them?"

Envy dodged Ed's attack and sent him flying back with a powerful kick, landing on Al with a thud "eh, sure… help yourself Gluttony."

He licked his lips with a huge tattooed tong and more drool ran down his face as he moved sluggishly towards his next three course meal. "Eat us?!" Sakura said with confusion.

"Get away." Edward yelled, running at Gluttony, "I still need them!"

"Come back here Fullmetal." Envy said going towards Ed but Al jumped in the way, cutting him off.

"Your gonna have to go threw me first." He said going into a fighting stance.

The homunculus let out a laugh and replied "If you say so tin can." He transformed into a snake, sliding past Al's shoulder with ease.

A metal fist grabbed onto his tail before he got past. "Come one." He said throwing the snake forward as it started to turn back into Envy "Get some new material; somebody's already called me 'tin can' this week."

Edward had already reached Gluttony and managed to cut off the top part of his head in one quick slash. The invalid ninja were shocked to see it beginning to grow back.

Before he was fully revived Ed cut up Gluttony's arms, further weakening the beast and he started hulling team seven away from there impending danger.

"Hurry up!" Al yelled, having obvious trouble holding off Envy.

"I'm trying! I'm trying!" Ed called back slowly making his way to the door "You three should really go on a diet!"

"Hello there." Envy said with a smile hitting Ed in the gut, sending him back against the bars. The alchemist clutched his stomach and coughed with pain. Envy turned to face the genin with an eyebrow raised "Who are you three anyway?"

"Just some nobodies" said Ed, slamming a fist into envy's cheek. Gluttony had recovered by now and was making his way to Ed, his tong hanging out ravenously.

"These 'nobodies' could help if you let us go" Sasuke said glaring at Edward. Envy was pulling himself out of the wall and Ed had to quickly decide the lesser of two evils.

Al rushed over and, with light speed, drew an alchemy circle. This made a brick wall surround them on all sides, temporarily holding back the monsters. Alphonse looked over to his big brother for the next move.

Ed seemed to be deep in thought.

He lifted his auto mail blade and slashed right threw the ropes binding Naruto and company saying "Lets see what Konaha's made of."

Envy and Gluttony easily broke threw the wall and were moving in for another round. "Finally!" Naruto yelled as they all got into attack positions "I've been waiting _FOREVER_ to get in a good fight."

**That fight scene was really supriseingly hard. Lots of things happening at the same time, all needing enough detail to make sence. Hope it turned out well. Oh and by the way, Im trieing to make a conncetion between alchemy and jutsu... it may make no sence at all but I'm trying. **

**And i'll say it again, because I get really annoyed when i go from getting tons of reviews down the the bear minium, any less then 3 reviews and YOU WILL GET NO MORE CHAPTERS! sorry but it bothers me that so many people have this storie on there favorate list and alet me list and yet so few reviewed. If you like me storie, tell me. if you hate my storie, tell me how i could improve. im open to criticism in all aspects of the story accept the author's notes.**


	8. Out of the dark, into the darker

**:D I feel so luffed! I wrote and posted that last chapter when I was completely hyper off Halloween candy (I wonder how well I hid it?) and sorta felt bad I got so mad about reviews but it REALLY worked! Yay!**

**In one of my many reviews, somebody referred to my summary, that's not very wise. I'm horrible at summaries and just put in it enough to get the main idea across (that it's a Naruto FMA crossover) and everything else was just me trying to sound dramatic. But one thing you pointed out was true, Naruto need more of a roll. I'll get right on that.**

**Another reviewer utterly confused me… Devil-Speaker: naruto doesn't have a shadow possession jutsu! and shikamaru isn't in this fic **(yet).** And what do you mean by "is naruto a demon" how can he NOT be? Or maybe you mean something else then what I'm thinking . XP URAGH! XPXP**

**Anyways… I've taken in all your comments and hope they make this chapter really good enjoy:**

**Catastrophic**

**Chapter eight: Out of the dark, into the darker**

The homunculi didn't waste any time and were eagerly the first to attack.

Envy's arms became long blades and he slashed at the blond ninja with a wild smile on his face. Naruto didn't move and the blows managed to sink in deep before he disappeared with a puff of white smoke, replaced with a straw humanoid doll.

The momentary confusion gave Ed the perfect opportunity to strike. But his metal punch didn't have the effect he had expected, and Envy simply glared at him angrily, being moved hardly a foot.

The group's luck against Gluttony wasn't much better. Al had sent a stone spike threw the monster's mouth when _it_ attempted to jump at him but his acid saliva easily melted threw it and he healed quickly. Sakura sent a barrage of kunai followed only seconds after by Sasuke's fire ball jutsu but when the smoke cleared Gluttony still stood unscathed.

Envy clutched Edward's arm and pulled him closer, whispering "You ungrateful brat…" before throwing him towards Sasuke and the others. They were all too focused on Gluttony to notice and were knocked down.

"We just came to give you a hand," Envy yelled, suddenly getting very, very mad "and THIS is how you repay us!!!"

"Give us… give us a hand?" Ed said confused, still lying upside-down in the wreckage of Envy's throw "w-what do you mean by that?"

"WHO CARES!?!" Naruto yelled knocking the shape shifter in the back of the head with a powerful punch. Envy turned to face him but was attacked from the other side before he knew what was going on.

The second Naruto's punch pushed Envy to the first one. A third clone was there helping him gather energy in a sphere in his hand. With a cocky smile Naruto yelled "RA-SEN-GAN" and threw the blue sphere of swirling energy at Envy's stomach.

He collapsed to the ground, blood oozing from his mouth as he gasped for breath.

Gluttony stood there dumbfounded, whispering, "envy…?" holding a finger to his mouth with confusion. The ninja took a deep breath and let his clones disappear while he smiled at his job well done.

"Come on, let's get out of here!" Ed yelled, having recovered "Homunculi never stay down for very long." They began to head for the door, Gluttony in his confusion not even attempting to stop there escape.

A growing laughter stopped them in there tracks. Envy was already starting to stand up. His torso's shredded skin and visible bones already healing them selves.

"**What **_**are**_** these freaks?!**" Naruto asked, not knowing how it was possible that his Rasengan didn't finish him off. Ed just kept going, the rest of the group following momentarily, as Envy's laughter rose. He just hoped that they could at least reach a more open space to fight in if nothing else.

Before Ed had even managed to reach the door a hand grabbed his shoulder, pulling him backwards, to the ground.

Envy's arm had stretched across the room to grab him and the creature slowly made his way to the group, growling. "You guys get out of here!" Ed yelled, standing up "let me take care of them."

"I'm staying with you brother!" Al said confidently.

"Hay, there's no way I'd pass up an enemy _this_ fun!!" called Naruto, pulling out some shuriken from his weapons pouch.

Sakura pulled Sasuke's arm saying "come on let's go. We can't talk him out of it."

"Just, don't die." Sasuke said mockingly, exiting as dramatically as possible. Naruto nodded back to his rival but then found Envy, transformed into a bear, roaring in his face. With this development Sasuke added "…idiot." before vanishing to the darkness.

Alphonse shoved the bear away from the nin and grappled with it, evenly matched, until Envy finally decided to change back.

"Gluttony!" He yelled, grabbing the attention of his oversized friend "You take down those two. I'll take care of the alchemists and there loud little friend."

Ed rushed over to block Gluttony but the goliath managed to get past.

"don't worry." Naruto said as Ed and Al tried to follow him out the door "Sasuke and Sakura can handle him." With this vote of confidence the three turned there attention back to Envy who appeared to be making a **big** change this time. When the new transformation was complete a huge dragon-like serpent thing stood before them.

"WHAT THE HELL IS-" Edward exclaimed, his words cut off by the creature's tail slamming towards him, forcing the alchemist and his companions to scatter.

"We need a plan!" Ed yelled, as all of them tried hard to avoid Envy's devastatingly crushing movements.

"I'm on it!" Naruto called back. His approach was a random barrage of shuriken and kunai from all directions. The problem was that each weapon would hardly even penetrate the monster's scaly skin and even then it would fall out in a matter of seconds, with Envy hardly noticing anything had been done.

Ed and Al were trying to hold him still with alchemy-made cables and walls, all of which snapped or shattered with the slightest bit of movement on Envy's part. He easily pinned all three worriers to a wall. The room was is shambles and beginning to fall apart completely (aka: the roof falling in) with them trapped inside.

"Now, let me finish off this little nuisance." Envy proclaimed with hissing words. Ed was about to go off on an angry rant about being called 'little' when they realized his gaze rested solely on Naruto.

"Hay!" the genin said as his captor opened its fanged mouth for the finishing bite "What did I do!?!!!"

The snake chuckled and answered maliciously "You interrupted my plans." He turned to face Edward with as much of a glare possible for a dragon to do "And as much as I'd love to do away with you two as well we need you a little bit longer…"

While all this badness was happening with Envy, Sakura and Sasuke had there on battle going on.

They hadn't gotten far up the stairs before they could start to hear Gluttony's footsteps following. So far he wasn't in sight but the ninja didn't want to have to face him if it could be avoided and they ran as fast as they could. Somehow Gluttony had managed to match there pace and even top it, and by the time the light from outside was fully visible the fight was unavoidable.

Sasuke and Sakura got outside and turned to face the doorway, preparing for the imminent attack. Gluttony stood there for a moment, letting more saliva drip to the ground.

"Try to keep your distance" Warned Sasuke in this momentary stillness. When Sakura made a confused expression, showing she didn't understand why he elaborated, explaining "see there, the ground is melting away."

"yuck." The girl replied, seeing Sasuke's point "it's like he has acid spit."

Gluttony took a step saying "oh, I like girls. So tender and delicious…"

This comment sent a chill down Sakura's spine, making the kunoichi unable to hold back any longer. She threw two kunai, ignoring her partner's warning of "no! Wait!"

The homunculi didn't react and simply let the blades hit without interference. Blood sprayed out and for a second Sakura internally celebrated a perfect first strike, the party ending when Gluttony proceeded to move forward, acting as if nothing had happened.

After a few steps without any more false starts Gluttony rushed to Sakura in a drooling rage that managed to catch her off guard.

Sasuke activated his sharingan eyes and in a moment vanished without going to the kunoichi's aid. Gluttony bit into Sakura's arm and was surprised to find that it tasted more like a stick then a girl's flesh. He became even more confused when she puffed into a block of wood.

He looked around, finding no one in sight.

There battle ground was an alleyway but it was rather large and had plenty of places to hide. The homunculi put his nose in the air, sniffing out his snack.

Up atop a building the two ninja waited in silence for the key moment to strike. "How can we beat him when our attacks don't do anything?!" Asked Sakura slightly annoyed.

Gluttony looked up, smiling at the ninja. "_Damn it_!" Sasuke thought as Sakura and he ran off in opposite directions.

"Need a hand?" asked a man, appearing right in front of him.

**I worked really hard on this one and yet somehow I still don't feel satisfied by how it turned out… hn… well tell me what you think. And yes, I'm keeping the at least 3 reviews or else rule but the more I get, the more motivated I feel, keep that in mind.**

**Try guessing who the person at the end is, it's totally random so I doubt anybody will guess right but still. It's fun to hear your guesses.**


	9. When greed comes in to play

**Wow! Somebody got it right! I guess it's not that hard to figure out but still, I thought it would be a little unexpected. congrats to the ONE correct reviewer.**

**Sorry it's been so long. I've just had other things to do. I'll try getting ten out before the New Year.**

**Oh yeah, if I haven't said so before (and I don't think I have) I really don't like Sasuke. In the show he's supposed to be 'cool' and 'strong' and yadda, yadda, yadda, but I really just find the guy annoying. I try to not show my bias but I'm sorry if it shows any… I don't really like Sakura either but I think I'm better at hiding that… I like Kakashi… he's cool XD(this has nothing to do with the story dose it) I'm sorry, I'll start now… enjoy…**

**Catastrophic**

**Chapter nine: When Greed comes in to play**

"Need a hand?" asked a man, appearing right in front of him. The stranger wore a black vest with a fur trim, a tight black shirt and black leather pants. Sunglasses covered his eyes and he also had bands around his wrists. His short black hair was spiked up and sharp pointed teeth showed as he grinned.

"W-who are-?" Sasuke began to ask, only to be interrupted by Gluttony jumping up behind him. He reached for a weapon, finding nothing but air in the empty pouch.

The man patted Sasuke's shoulder and said "Don't worry. I can handle this guy." He turned to the approaching homunculi and took in a deep breath, yelling as if he was mad at his puppy dog "Hay! GO AWAY YOU IDIOT! COME ON, GET OUTTA HERE!!!"

"What are you doing?!" Sasuke asked "You really think he's gonna fall for-"

Gluttony slowly turned around and walked away, looking back with a confused face from time to time. He then jumped off the building and out of sight.

Sasuke stood there stupefied, staring at his 'ally' with suspicion. "How did you-?" he began only to be interrupted again, this time by a thought, and he instantly ran off top speed without another word. "_He must be after Sakura now!_"

"hn…?" the stranger said, watching his ninja friend suddenly run off for no visible reason whatsoever "where's the fire?"

Before Sasuke had found Sakura or Gluttony he heard something from down where Naruto was fighting Envy. He changed course, and muttered "what have you done now!?" as he ran down the steps.

By the time he reached the bottom the whole place was going to hell in a hand basket. The walls were falling apart and a giant dragon, he assumed was there shape shifting buddy Envy, had his tong wrapped around Naruto's head as the blond screamed frantically.

Just as Sasuke was about to step in Ed yelled out "what do you mean 'you _need_ us'?" Envy's eyes shifted over to the alchemist "what are you and the rest of the ouborus planning on doing with my brother and me?"

"They call you a genius." He replied with a chuckle "but you haven't figured it out at all, have you little Fullmetal boy."

Sasuke saw this conversation as a perfect opportunity and stealthily made his move. "The war in the east, the corruption in the military, and the philosopher's stone even the war now against Konahagakure…" Envy continued, not noticing the ninja set up his attack "Everything's been laid out in front of you and still you're blind to the truth. Or maybe you choose to not see?"

"As much as I'd like to hear where this is going," Naruto said slightly sarcastically "we really should GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

"I agree." Sasuke added, drawing everyone's attention to the doorway where he stood. He held up his fists with wires wrapped around each finger. If they had been paying attention they would have seen him dash around the room, fastening them on cell bars and walls in a way not so favorable to Envy "Fire Element, Dragon Fire Technique!"

Suddenly the lines lit up with fire coming out of the young Nin's mouth. Envy roared with pain as the flames engulfed his form, the wires destroying any chance of dodging. He squirmed and backed up as much as they would allow, freeing Ed, Al, and Naruto.

The four of them hurried up the stairs as the dragon's commotion sped up the room's imminent destruction. When they reached the top Envy's horrid cries could still be herd and some passer-bys were beginning to gather.

"Where's that girl, uh, Sakura?" Al asked as Edward shooed away people.

"oh yeah…" Sasuke said just as a voice from behind him called his name. They all looked to see Sakura and the stranger from before coming.

"Hay Sakura…" asked Naruto as they approached "…who's he?"

"_More of these Konaha ninjas, and the Elric brothers too. Wow, today's been just a boatload of good fortune hasn't it…_?" He thought, before answering "the name's Greed, and you are?"

"NARUTO UZUMAKI" he replied, after which he introduced the rest of the group, adding his own commentary here and there (ex: this is Sasuke, an annoying show off who is in NO way better then ME! the is Ed: the smallest magic person in the world.)

"You won't believe it!" Sakura said, when everyone settled down from the post-naruto-introduction argument "No matter how many times I killed that monster he kept coming back but when greed here used his armor jutsu and yelled at him, he just ran off!"

"Armor jutsu?" Ed said questionably as he returned from telling people some made up story to make them leave "Are you another ninja?"

"No, not really. I've never even been to a ninja village. What I do is… less of a jutsu and more of a… special skill." Greed answered "in a way it's more like kekkei genkai, but not."

"If you've never been to a ninja village how do you know about jutsu and kekkei genkai?" Sasuke asked, crossing his arms.

Greed stood there thinking for an excuse when someone called out "there you guys are…" It was Kakashi, jumping down from a roof top. Ed glared at him furiously and Greed could be herd muttering "good timing nin…"

"What happened?" He asked ignoring Ed. Naruto and Sakura explained the contents of the past 2 ¾ chapters while Sasuke observed Greed with suspicion. He noticed that the tattoo on his hand resembled the one on gluttony and Envy; they also had similar circular markings.

"hn…" commented Kakashi after hearing the story "I guess I overestimated you guys…when you didn't come back I thought maybe the police had come and I went to search jails… I was checking this place… but I didn't expect…"

"Hay that last time didn't count!" Ed yelled feeling like Kakashi was underestimating him "I want a rematch!"

"Do _all_ blonds act like Naruto…?" The jounin mumbled and then sighed, saying "I can't stick around to play with you… we have to return to Konaha…"

"Hay, any chance my crew and I can come with?" Greed chirped in with a smile.

"Your crew?" Sasuke said questionably. As if on cue, three people came out of a random alleyway and stood beside Greed.

"Hay where's everyone else?" Greed asked turning his head to them "they scared or something?"

"Wait, wait, why do you want to come back to Konaha with us anyway?" Kakashi asked

"ya see, The only reason the Fuhrer started this war was because he saw you ninja as a threat… and you are…" He replied "were losing, that's clear, and they keep trying to take prisoners so we could get a little inelegance but that's not working either. Guess your men have stronger will… well the point is I'd like to join the winning team" to himself he added "_and maybe find what makes you strong and get some for myself._"

"well. We can't exactly stop you from coming can we…?" Kakashi pondered receiving a "You bet we can!" from naruto that wasn't even entered into his thought process "okay, I suppose you can join us… but the second your in the village your on your own."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Sasuke "he could be a spy or soldier; sent to take us down from within."

In truth Kakashi didn't know what to expect but was intrigued by this stranger.

After almost an hour the ninja and Greed were at Amestris' border. "huff huff How the …huff Hell cannhe huff… keep up with them!" Edward said, completely out of breath and yet nearly a mile behind Naruto and them.

"This is a bad idea…" Al said walking beside him "What happed to guard duty? You'll get court-martialed, or have your license revoked, or WORSE!? Did you even let the colonel know where you were going?"

"Don't worry about it." Ed answered, finally catching his breath and trying to speed up again "I took care of it."

"but brother…" Alphonse said "Isn't all this a bit much for a little rematch?"

"REVENGE!" Edward howled with fire in his eyes, as he charged forward in a burst of energy.

"a letter for you sir." Said Riza Hawkeye back at Roy mustang's office "from Fullmetal." He took the envelope and opened it silently. When Riza saw the strange expression on his face prior to reading it she leaned over asking "what did he say?"

_Dear idiot_

_I'm going to Konaha to fight a one eyed troll. All the prisoners in my unit have escaped, and the cells have been buried. Don't tell or you'll have to do more paperwork._

_From Edward Elric_

**I know it didn't have to much action, I was just now figuring out a plot (up until now I'v just been winging it) and explaning things a bit. well lesee, I used that attack of Sasuke's because I remembered the ep where he used it and it looked cool…I'v been wanting to put it in for awhile and needed a good place (if I used it wrong or got mixed up im sorry).**

**I don't know if I made Gluttony act quite right but I wanted to get rid of him. It's no fun to make him fighting and he doesn't talk alot so and dialog is lost. Besides, I thought he would listen to Greed like he dose the other homunculi. I don't remember them ever meeting in the manga or anime… why did he die so fast anyway… oh and yeah, this takes place in the Naruto world after Chunin exams (before Sasuke goes with Orochimaru) and in the FMA world before they met greed (which is kinda early isn't it) a bit vauge but better then nothing.**

**Yeah, now the setting is changing to Konaha and im going to make Greed kinda important (cuz he's so cool). I love him so much, it's difucult to make his personality so… greddy, but I guess that's him right, greed greedy.**

**Thank you all for reading and REVIEW! (3 reviews needed for you to evah see chappy 10)**


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